


Celebration of Life

by Nicole Premier (MistressArachnia)



Category: Togainu no Chi
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Ass Play, Birthday, Biting, Domestic, Fluff, Food Sex, Kissing, Living Together, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Post-Canon, Rimming, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-07-17 07:39:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16091066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistressArachnia/pseuds/Nicole%20Premier
Summary: There are so many things Nano has missed out on as life passed him by. Birthdays are one of them. This year, Akira wants to celebrate with him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write this for Nano's birthday on September 3rd. It's divided into two parts for length.
> 
> This story takes place post Nano's route, several years after Nano and Akira have fled Toshima together and are living abroad on the run from the Japanese government. Their relationship has gotten a bit more mature, and the two of them since have settled into a comfortable routine together. Nano is still fairly naive and eccentric on account of having spent most of his life as a test subject, but since he has had more social interaction with Akira his manner of speaking has become much more straightforward and direct (sometimes a little too direct) and he has become much more emotionally expressive.

It was hard to believe that this was his life.

Akira was holding his hand. All around them, the sounds of children laughing and playing echoed in the city park. Nano liked to come here in the afternoons while he waited for his lover to finish work at the little cafe down the street. It was peaceful. Meditative. It had been raining that morning, and the fresh earth smelled divine. Wind rustling through the branches blended with the crunch of fallen leaves under his boots to drown out the sounds of traffic from the street.

It was little things like this that made life so worth living. Nano cherished all of it. Everything. Even the cold gusts of wind on his cheeks, biting into his fair skin. It was beautiful, but it was also dirty and chaotic, completely different from the sterile institution where Nano had spent most of his life. Where once there had been only an endless expanse of white before him, the world now burst into a million different colors. The once green leaves of the maple trees in this little park were beginning to turn golden orange, falling silently onto the grass and streets below. Newly formed puddles caught them, carrying them away like tiny boats on a still lake. Spills of oil from the streets spread over the water where they came into contact, painting the little pools with toxic iridescent shades that shimmered in the sunlight.

It wasn’t perfect, and that was why he loved it. When he first lay beside Akira at night, feeling the other’s rhythmic breath against his bare chest, he was afraid to sleep for fear that he would open his eyes only to find that all of this beautiful chaos existed solely in his imagination.

But the spark of electricity that flowed under his fingers as he lightly caressed Akira’s hand was something Nano knew he could never have imagined on his own. This warmth was real, as was the weight of the other’s body as he sat beside him on this small wooden park bench. Every time he exhaled, Akira’s breath made little puffs of white mist. It was strange to think that he might never have known that the living warmth from human bodies could be seen as well as felt.

Most of the time this park was quiet, ideal for reading or drawing, or simply walking beside his lover, enjoying one another’s company in comfortable silence. But today, more children kept coming, carrying brightly colored boxes to a wooden table that had been adorned by a colorful paper cloth that fluttered in the brisk autumn wind.

“Akira… what are they doing?”

It didn’t make sense that they would all come to descend upon this park just as this biting chill was beginning to settle in. A few weeks ago the weather was far more pleasant, but the park had been deserted.

“The kids? It looks like a birthday party.”

“It is a strange time for a party. Why would they all choose to come out now?”

Nano closed his sketchbook, wrapping his black trenchcoat tighter around his shoulders. As the days grew colder, he was becoming increasingly grateful that the drafty little apartment they shared had come equipped with a fireplace.

“Probably because it’s their birthday today,” Akira shrugged, “People don’t get to pick when they are born. It happens when it happens. Here,” Akira took Nano’s hand and pressed a warm paper cup into it, “It’s apple cider. I think you’ll like it. It’s been really popular at work lately.”

Akira shifted closer in a silent offer to share his body heat, which Nano readily accepted.

“Is someone being born, then?”

“No, not exactly…”

The children were all gathering around the table now, singing slightly off-key and out of sync. He couldn’t make out the words to their song. It was odd. Akira usually didn’t like being around children very much, but despite the growing crowd, the tone of his voice did not seem especially annoyed today. Instead it was almost… nostalgic?

“Hey… Do you know when your birthday is?”

“No.”

“……” Akira paused, watching the kids run about the playground. “If you don’t know the exact date, do you remember anything about it? Like maybe what season it was, or if the weather was hot or cold…”

Nano shook his head, curling his cold fingers around the warm apple cider.

“I have very few memories before ENED. I think… I was too young to remember.”

“Well of _course_ you were, you were just born, after all.” Akira rolled his eyes, a gesture which as far as Nano could tell seemed to indicate that he had said something strange. “I don’t think _anyone_ actually remembers their own birth. A birthday is the _anniversary_ of when someone was born. It’s usually your family who reminds you and celebrates with you every year.”

“…If anyone ever cared about the day I was born, I have no memory of it.”

When he said this, Akira’s grip on Nano’s hand tightened. Nano could feel that his words had elicited some sort of emotional response, though he couldn’t imagine what it might be. Akira turned his gaze away to stare fixedly at a golden orange leaf as it fluttered to the ground.

Nano pondered this in silence, bringing the warm apple cider to his lips. It smelled delicious. Cinnamon, probably. A lot of the seasonal foods Akira had been bringing home lately had a similar smell, and he was growing rather fond of it.

Finally Akira spoke.

“…Do you know how old you are?”

“No.”

Again, Akira fell silent, almost contemplative. Were those the sorts of things that people usually knew? Perhaps his partner had expected a different answer from him. Alas, all of the years he had been held as a test subject blended together, and the years before were a blur. The years after… meaningless.

Until he met Akira.

“I know that I am older than you,” Nano offered. “I held the memory of meeting you close to my heart ever since. And when you took my hand, I remember thinking… that you were very small.”

“Well yeah,” Akira smiled, a slight blush rising to his cheeks as he looked back up into his partner’s eyes. How he loved Akira’s smile, that subtle flush of color… but more than that, he loved to think that he was the cause of it. “You were almost an adult back then, and I was still a kid… But I don’t know, my memories from back then are still hazy. I think… you’re maybe eight to ten years older than me or so? …I’m not good at guessing people’s ages.”

“Perhaps.”

The cider tasted as good as it smelled, and when it touched Nano’s tongue, warmth spread through his veins to reach every cell in his body. This sensation must be something like contentment, he thought. A deceptively simple sort of happiness that brought with it gentle reminders of what it felt like to be alive.

“Unless we get a hold of your medical records, I guess we’ll probably never know.” Akira sighed dejectedly, shivering in the cool breeze.

“It does not matter.”

Nano reached out, taking his lover’s cool hand and squeezing it tightly. As long as he could touch him like this, _nothing_ else mattered.

“How about this?” Akira looked up, his icy blue eyes narrowed with that cool determination that he had fallen in love with over and over again. “Your birthday is the day that you came to life. So, the day we left Toshima… _that_ can be your birthday, because that was the day you took control of your own destiny. It was when you first realized that you could choose happiness over despair. That day, you went from an inanimate doll with no will of its own to a full human being. So that day… you truly came to life. Do you remember it?”

“Yes, of course I do, Akira. I would _never_ forget that day. It was the day I learned your name.”

The corners of Akira’s lips turned up in a slight smile. Akira’s smile could brighten the cloudiest day, even in this fading greyish haze as the setting sun fell behind the maple trees. Nano wanted so much to draw him into his arms and kiss him, but with so many people around, he knew they couldn’t risk drawing any unwanted attention.

“Good! Then it is settled. We’ll make… um…” Akira paused. “…Do you remember what the date was when we left Toshima?”

“No. Before the two of us started looking for work, I never had any reason to keep track of such things.”

“……” Akira furrowed his eyebrows. “…I remember it was raining, and the weather was just starting to get cold… kind of like now? So it must have been around this time of year. Hey,” Akira reached up, tucking a stray strand of black hair behind Nano’s ear. “I have tomorrow off from work. So… if neither of us can remember when the actual date was, how about if we make tomorrow your birthday?”

Nano smiled softly, brushing his fingers across the back of Akira’s hand as he finished another sip of hot cider.

“If a birthday is simply meant to be a time when you feel happy to be alive, then every day I am with you is my birthday.”

Akira blushed outright. “…But we should choose an actual date.”

“If you wish. I do not see why such a thing is important.”

“Listen…” Akira’s grip on his hand tightened. “For most of your life, maybe no one cared about things like your name or when you were born. But now _I’m_ here, and _I_ care. I never really cared about anyone’s birthday before, not even my own, but I want to celebrate with you. So let’s make tomorrow, September 3rd, your birthday from now on, okay?”

“Alright.”

“Good!” Akira nearly jumped up off the bench. “We should probably get going before the crowd gets any bigger. I just got paid yesterday, so we can stop by the grocery store on the way home to buy some cake.”

“…Why?” Nano tucked his sketchbook under his arm, balancing his unfinished cider in one hand and taking Akira’s in the other.

“It’s traditional to eat cake on your birthday. C’mon, let’s go.”

A small smile played about Nano’s lips as he followed Akira through the busy streets. Despite the biting chill, the silent transfer of heat between their two bodies whenever their flesh touched, that little spark between them as their opposite blood reacted, was so warm… and so wonderful. The sun was just beginning to set, and the little shops along the street that had not yet closed were turning on their lights one by one to guide passers-by to their destinations. It wasn’t far. The grocery store was only two blocks from their apartment, and thankfully it stayed open late.

Once they arrived, Akira headed straight for the baking aisle, leading Nano to a dizzying display of cardboard boxes printed with photographs of different cakes. Akira picked one up at random, turning it over to read the words imprinted on the back.

“Since we have an apartment with an oven now, I want to make you your first birthday cake with my own hands.”

“…I did not know that you knew how to make cakes, Akira.”

“Well… I’ve never actually made one before,” Akira confessed, setting the box back on the shelf. “But I know how. The chefs in the cafe where I work sometimes make them for special occasions. You just follow the instructions on the back of the box. It shouldn’t be too difficult. What kind of cake would you like?”

Nano glanced up again at the daunting display of rows upon rows of cake mixes. “I don’t care. Whatever you want is fine.”

“No… it’s _your_ birthday. You get to pick your cake. The whole day is supposed to be about _you_. So I want to give you the kind of cake that you want to eat.”

Alas, Nano had absolutely no idea what kind of cake he wanted to eat. He had only eaten cake on a few occasions, either when Akira brought it home from work or a handful of times when the two of them visited a tea or coffee shop together.

“…How do I choose?”

“You just look at the boxes, I guess.” Akira shrugged. “They show what the cake should look like once it’s baked. You like cake, right?”

“Yes.”

“So just pretend you’re ordering at a cafe and pick what you would like to eat.”

The way Akira said it made it sound so simple, but such a thing was far easier said than done. There were far fewer options at any of the cafes or coffee shops Nano had been to. Grey eyes trailed slowly over the multitude of boxes, unsure which to select. Finally, he came across one particular box that stood out among the rest.

“…This one.” Nano picked it up from the shelf and handed it to Akira.

“……” Akira’s eyes widened, turning the box over in his hands. “…Rainbow confetti? I mean, if that’s the one you want, then that’s fine…”

“I like the colors.”

“…Of course you do.”

“If you would prefer a different type of cake, Akira, I will be happy with any you choose.”

“No, if this is what you want, then we’ll get this one.” Akira turned on his heel, heading straight for the check out counter. However, he barely looked the shopkeeper in the eye when he rang them up.

“Oh how sweet… You two are so cute together.”

“Thanks…” Akira grumbled, “It’s just for his birthday…”

Nano watched the exchange impassively, trying to determine the source of Akira’s obvious discomfort. Glancing more closely at the box, the words ‘Happy Pride Day’ were written in romanji across the front. Was that the wrong thing to get for a birthday celebration?

“Akira… did I choose the wrong cake?”

“No. It’s fine.”

“Then why are you blushing? Are you not supposed to have pride on your birthday?”

“It’s… well, Pride Day is a celebration honoring men who love other men and women who love other women. I mean, there’s more to it, but that’s the basic gist of it. The rainbow is the symbol for that. So if you see two guys buying a rainbow cake together, I guess you just sort of assume they’re a couple.”

Nano smiled softly, squeezing Akira’s hand. “It is perfect, then.”

“…I guess so.”

They walked hand in hand in silence as the last of the fading light finally disappeared beyond the horizon. It was completely dark when they returned home and their front light was out, making it difficult for Akira to find the latch to get the door unlocked. Nano waited patiently, finishing up the last of his cider so that he could put the cup into the recycling bin before they went inside. Their current apartment was on the second floor, and had already been furnished before they moved in. It wasn’t fancy, and the windows needed to be resealed, but it had everything the two of them needed to survive in relative comfort and tranquility. Even better, this small Canadian town was remote enough that it had been several months since they had heard so much as a whisper from the government men who pursued them. As far as Nano was concerned, this place was paradise.

Almost as soon as he heard the creak of the old door hinges, they were assaulted by a small grey ball of fur. Yume, their tabby cat, had come to rub up against their legs to welcome them, weaving gracefully between their feet. Nano bent down to pick him up, closing the door and following Akira to the kitchen.

“I’m pretty sure I saw cake pans when I was looking through the cupboards before. I remember wondering what they were, until I saw the chefs using them at work. They’re round and flat… I’ll keep looking. What else does it say we need?”

“Hmm?” Nano tried to shift Yume to one arm to pick up the cake box. The instructions were written in English, which neither of them was fluent in, though they had both learned enough to get by. At least the English alphabet was relatively phonetic. “Two cake pans, a large mixing bowl, five smaller bowls to seperate the colors, measuring cups and spoons, butter, milk, and eggs.”

“Alright, I think we have most of those…”

Yume pressed his head into Nano’s hand in a silent demand for attention.  

Nano settled on the couch with his cat on his lap. Right now, he wanted nothing more than to settle into a quiet night at home with his little family. Alas, Akira seemed to have other ideas, and spent a good portion of the evening climbing on counters and opening cabinets searching for their cooking supplies. As Nano and Yume watched, a dizzying array of utensils were being set out on the counters. Akira may have called it simple, but the art of making a cake was looking increasingly complex by the minute. Just when he thought his lover was finally done, Akira opened the refrigerator door and began cursing.

“What’s wrong, Akira?”

“We’re out of milk and eggs. I need to go back to the store to get some.” Akira shut the refrigerator door, glaring at it in frustration, as though he might intimidate it into changing its contents by sheer force of will.

“Can’t we just make the cake without them?”

“…That’s not possible.”

“Why not? I have never had cake with milk or eggs in it before.”

“Yes you have, you just can’t taste them once all of the ingredients are mixed together. But you _have_ to have them, otherwise when you bake it, the cake won’t be… cake.”

“…What will it be?”

“I’m not sure, but it probably won’t taste very good.” Akira reached for his jacket. “I’ll just be a little while, you can take a shower while you’re waiting.”

“I’ll come with you. Then we can take a shower together when we get back.”

“No… no, I… um…” Akira held up his hand to stop him. “Just stay here, okay?”

“…You don’t want to take a shower with me?”

“It’s not that.” Akira looked away with a blush. “…I need to get you a birthday present. And you can’t come with me, otherwise you’ll see what it is. It’s supposed to be a surprise.”

“You don’t need to get me anything, Akira. You are already making me a cake, and there is nothing I want besides you.”

“Well…” Akira looked away, still blushing furiously. “…It’s the first time you’re celebrating your birthday, so I’m getting you a present anyway. And you can’t see it until tomorrow.”

Nano wanted to argue, but seeing the look in his partner’s eyes, he knew it would be futile. Once Akira had made up his mind about something, there was no stopping him. So Nano simply remained on the couch, resigning himself to his fate as his lover gave him a quick kiss and made a hasty retreat, leaving him alone.

Silence filled the empty space. Yume was looking up at him with those same fierce sapphire eyes that reminded him so much of Akira’s. He probably wanted to be fed. Nano set him down and went to the kitchen to find his food.

Once the cat had been appeased, Nano headed for the bathroom and stripped off his clothes. It seemed to take longer than usual for the water to heat up before he stepped inside. Warm water running in rivulets over his bare skin was one of his favorite sensations. It was soothing. Peaceful. Relaxing. One of the many simple pleasures he never would have experienced if Akira hadn’t taken his bloodsoaked hand and led him away from that devil’s nest of a city. Until then, he had seen so much death that life passed him by.

His beloved was right - the day they left Toshima was the day he was truly born. And that was the day he would always celebrate, until he and Akira both lay in the ground, side by side for all eternity.

By the time Nano stepped out of the shower and reached for his towel, Akira still had not returned. Once he put on his flannel pajamas and got a fire going, Nano grabbed a book from the shelf and sat by the window to watch for him. But minutes turned into hours. Every time he thought he heard a noise on the steps, it turned out to be a stray cat. Between the warmth of the shower and coziness of the armchair, his eyelids were growing heavier.

Just as Nano was drifting off to sleep, the click of the latch kicked his consciousness back into full alert.

“Were you sleeping? You could have just gone to bed, you know.”

Akira sat the groceries down on the counter, opening the refrigerator to put away the milk. Nano’s eyes trailed down to the small box in his hands. It was wrapped in colorful paper and tied with a ribbon, much like the boxes he had seen the children carrying earlier.

“Is this my gift?”

“Yes, but you can’t look at it until tomorrow.”

“…I can already see it.”

“No, I mean…” Akira shut the refrigerator door with a sigh. “You can’t _open_ it until tomorrow. But it’s not your birthday yet, so it has to stay wrapped.”

“Is it food?”

“No.”

“Then why does it need to be wrapped?”

“Because it’s a _present_ , and that’s how presents work. You have to wait until tomorrow to find out what it is. The wrapping is so that you can’t see what it is before then.”

How mysterious. A strange feeling was settling over him. It wasn’t quite contentment, it was more wanting. But it wasn’t a primal want like lust or hunger, it was far more subtle than that. Was this what others referred to as curiosity? He picked up the small box, turning it over carefully in his hand. It was long and narrow, and fairly lightweight.

“…Is it colored pencils?”

“No.”

“Paint brushes?”

“No.”

“Chopsticks?”

“…Why on earth would I get you chopsticks?”

“I was teasing.”

“Heh.” Akira smiled. “Well, stop guessing. I’m not going to give you any more hints. Let’s go to bed, you can open it tomorrow.”

Annoyingly, even after Akira changed into his pajamas and climbed into bed beside him, Nano couldn’t stop wondering what it might be. Needless to say, no one had ever given him a present before, so he had no idea what sort of thing to expect.

He still didn’t understand why Akira was going through all of this trouble. Surely he must know that simply being together, spending the day snuggled close in bed chatting and enjoying one another’s company, was more than enough. But the idea that Akira was doing all of it for _him_ , that he was trying so hard to make him happy, made warmth bud inside of his heart.

Nano pulled Akira close beneath the sheets, breathing in his scent and savoring the sensation of that familiar spark of electricity flowing between them. Sighing into the other’s neck, he gently kissed him, licking and nibbling along his spine, tasting the salt of his sweat. Hunger rose as his beloved squirmed in his embrace under the ministrations of his teeth and tongue. The sensation of his beloved so close in his arms, so alive, so _real,_ always brought out his primal urges.

Akira’s breath gradually grew faster, harder. He didn’t object when Nano wrapped him in his arms, sucking on the same spot he had just bitten. But the moment he tried to slide his hand into Akira’s pajama pants, Akira swatted him away.

“…Stop it.”

“I can’t.” Nano pulled him closer, grinding his erection into the other’s hips and licking softly up Akira’s neck to whisper in his ear. “Please let me touch you tonight.”

Even in the dim moonlight, he could see Akira’s eyes narrow. “…It’s not your birthday yet. Go to sleep.”

Nano sighed in frustrated confusion, burying his face against the back of Akira’s neck. “It’s never been my birthday before, and we’ve done this lots of times. Please, Akira…”

“…I said stop it.  We have lots of things to do tomorrow, and we need to rest or we’ll be too tired to do them.”

“You don’t need to do anything tomorrow but be with me.” Nano tried to assure him. “I want to be inside of you tonight.”

“…I’m already tired. Just wait until tomorrow, okay?”

Akira rolled over with an exasperated sigh, clutching his pillow and squeezing his eyes shut in vain pretense of being asleep. It wasn’t convincing at all, and Nano didn’t buy it.

“Akira…”

“Listen…” Akira’s voice dropped to a mumble and Nano had to lean closer to hear him. “…I’ll let you do whatever you want with me tomorrow, okay? I’m tired already, and if we spend all night doing... _this…_  I’m not going to have the energy to do it all again with you the next day. So just be patient.”

His heart thumped. _Tomorrow_ …

“…Anything?”

“…Within reason.”

Nano relented, pulling him closer and kissing his pale neck, trying to content himself with just holding him. But his mind couldn’t stop picturing it. And now he was hard as a rock, and there was no way he was going to be able to get to sleep in this state.

Akira must truly have been very tired, because he fell asleep almost immediately. Alas, the feeling of that warm body in his embrace and the sound of his soft breathing sent more of Nano’s cursed blood flowing to his cock. His lover's breath was steady, slow and rhythmic… the opposite of Nano's. Without thinking, Nano's hand ran down his own body to grasp the throbbing hardness that had risen. Clear fluid soaked through the soft cotton of his underwear.

He knew he wasn’t supposed to do it this way, at least… not around Akira. It felt so natural, like eating or sleeping. He had done it like this most of his life, but for some reason Akira found it deeply embarrassing whenever he saw him touching himself. Alas, he didn’t see any way around it. If his lover was already asleep, how would he know? Nano shifted uncomfortably, raising one knee to tent the covers as he slid down his pants and underwear.

Akira snuggled closer against him, hips flush against his thigh. Nano’s breath caught in his chest as arousal surged through his veins. Hungry violet eyes took in every inch of his lover's sleeping form as his hands moved faster…  _faster…_

Unable to resist, Nano's teeth grazed the flesh of Akira's shoulder. It was a light bite, more of a nip, still uncharacteristically restrained, but his lover still squirmed just as he did when he was in the throes of passion. In a moment, Nano's body reacted by climaxing.

Breath fast and desperate, Nano's gaze never left Akira's body for an instant. The glow of violet slowly dissipated in a sea of blue as Nano pulled Akira's body closer and settled beside him, fixing his clothes and licking his fingers. Who could say what tomorrow would bring? Thin lips covered Akira's soft silver hair with tender kisses as he allowed his body to relax and sleep to overtake them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Yume" means "Dream" in Japanese. It is considered a fairly feminine name for a male cat, but when Akira gave Nano the kitten he insisted that Nano be the one to name him... and that was the name he chose.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second "half" of my fic wound up being a lot longer than I intended (it's more like 3/4 of the total fic length!)... and it got a lot smuttier, too, so I had to update my tags.
> 
> I always run into the problem when writing NanoAki of Nano not having a canon "real" name (and that mystery name being the name Akira uses for him post route). So my options were 1) Keep having Akira inexplicably call him Nano 2) Use the BS narration workaround "Akira called out his real name" without writing any actual dialog or 3) Go with my headcanon name for Nano. I eventually went with option 3, because I write A LOT of NanoAki and it's frankly just annoying otherwise.
> 
> "Nikolai" is the Russian male equivalent of "Nicole"... and as a Nano fan is frankly a lot easier to get used to using than if I were to assign him some other totally random Russian guy name like Sasha or Igor. (Can you even imagine? LOL) He's still "Nano" in all of my narration, though, because that is forever his name in my mind and heart.

The demons that stalked Nano’s dreams were merciful, and night passed peacefully into morning. The first thing Nano felt when he awoke were Akira’s lips ghosting over his. His eyelids fluttered open to see his beloved standing by his bedside smiling gently down at him. Filtered light from the cloudy window cast a subtle glow over their quilted bed and the sound of rain hitting glass filled his ears.

“Happy birthday, Nikolai.”

…Was he still dreaming? The name he heard coming from his beloved’s lips wasn’t any of his old code names that he had grown accustomed to using, but his real name. It still sounded foreign to his ears. Impossible, even. But every time he heard it, his heart felt near to bursting. Nano reached up to tangle one hand through soft silver hair, pulling Akira closer to return his kiss.

“Here…” Akira placed a warm plate on his lap. “You should eat before this gets cold. I made you some tea and omelette rice, and I have french toast ready to grill. Since we had milk and eggs, I thought this would be a nice way to start the day.”

Nano sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

“…Why are we having omelette rice _and_ french toast?”

“Because it’s your birthday, of course.”

“………”

Nano blinked, inspecting the plate on his lap more closely. He could make out words written in ketchup on the side: ‘Happy birthday.’ The curiously shaped eggs were still hot, and on top of them there was a smear that looked like almost like Akira had tried to draw something. His lover must have noticed him staring, because he suddenly spoke up.

“…It’s supposed to be a cat.”

Nano blinked, squinting down at the misshapen red-smeared omelette. He turned the plate, trying to examine the picture from a different angle.

“It does not look like a cat.”

“If you’re going to be an art critic, then get up and make your own cat-shaped omelette.”

“……?”

Art may not have been one of Akira’s talents, but the fact that he had gone through all of this trouble just for him brought a smile to Nano’s lips nonetheless. All of this must have taken his lover some time to get ready. How early did he get up?

Before he could ask, Akira disappeared back into the kitchen, leaving Nano to stab sleepily at his eggs. They were a little burnt, but still tasted fresh.

Halfway through a bite, their big tabby cat Yume crawled out from under the bed where he had been hiding. He jumped up, digging his claws into the soft blankets and staring at his half-awake human companion expectantly, like some sort of pagan deity demanding a sacrifice.

Nano cut off a bite of omelette rice and held it out for him, but the cat looked thoroughly unimpressed with his offering. Perhaps he didn’t think Akira’s artwork looked much like a cat, either. After a few moments of staring him down, Yume apparently decided that Akira’s cooking wasn’t good enough for him and simply walked away without so much as trying it.

Cats were peculiar sometimes. Especially spoiled house cats.

Nano reached for his tea, listening to the sounds of the rising storm outside. Raindrops were beginning to drum faster, harder against the drafty bedroom window. Nano shivered. Pale blue eyes followed the drops as they collided and slid down the glass, filling him with nostalgia.

He had so many memories of his lover in the rain. The sound of the drops pounding against the greenhouse in Toshima, muffling their pleasured gasps and moans. Huddling close for warmth as they waited for both the weather and their pursuers to pass. Hiding out in abandoned buildings as they fled the dark path that had been laid out before them to carve out their own destiny together.

How long ago all of that seemed… and yet, at the same time, it felt like it was only yesterday.

Before Nano had even halfway finished his omelette rice, Akira returned with two pieces of toast dusted with powdered sugar and drizzled in maple syrup. His mouth watered at the sight. The taste of maple was one of his favorite things about living in Canada.

Still, as delicious as it looked, between the omelette, the toast, and the upcoming cake, Nano wasn’t certain he could eat this much so soon after waking up without feeling sick to his stomach afterwards. Years of IV fluids, intubation, starvation, and tasteless nutritional supplements had left his body unaccustomed to living off of solid food, and his system still couldn’t handle large meals all at once. But before he could voice his concern, Akira climbed into bed beside him and traded plates.

“I thought we could share breakfast today.”

Nano smiled in genuine gratitude as his lover settled back onto the pillows. The warm maple syrup drizzled over his fried bread smelled heavenly, worlds away from the tasteless trees in Toshima. Splitting this meal together would be a perfect indulgence to start the day. He leaned over, placing a kiss on Akira’s forehead. Then his cheek. Then his lips.

“Thank you, Akira.”

Akira smiled, seemingly pleased with this response, and the two settled in together to enjoy their cozy breakfast in bed. The rain was picking up, and what had begun as a gentle drizzle was quickly becoming a pounding flood.

In truth, Nano lived for days like this. When the skies tore open around them, it felt as though the entire outside world was washed away. Only he and Akira remained, safe inside, in their own private world sanctioned and protected by nature itself.

Nano set his plate on the bedside table and drew back the covers, beckoning Akira to join him. Akira snuggled closer, settling quietly against his chest. Nano wrapped his arms around his lover, closing his eyes peacefully as he pulled him close and breathed in his scent. No matter how much time they spent in one another’s arms, the simple warmth of human skin never failed to fascinate him. To think he might have died without ever knowing such a thing.

Human lives were so fragile… but this was what made them so beautiful. When Nano held Akira close like this, felt his warmth and the beating of his heart, he knew he had a reason to live. He had something precious to protect. He knew that for as long as they both breathed, he would do anything and everything to keep him safe.

Because now, his destiny had a name: Akira. His future rested not in the hands of so many nameless, faceless others who sought to use him for their own selfish ends, but with someone he loved, and who loved him in return. Someone who wanted him, not as a weapon or cursed chalice, but simply as a man. And thus, for the first time in his life, Nano had begun to look forward to the days to come.

Nano’s fingers trailed lower, from Akira’s cheek to his jaw, from his jaw to his lips, leaving a tingling sensation in their wake. The buttons on the front of Akira’s nightshirt unhooked easily. He wanted to touch more of him, to feel skin against skin. Shifting slightly to allow a little more room between their bodies, Nano peeled Akira’s nightshirt off with both hands. Cool fingers sought out the dips and ridges of his chest and abdomen, delighting in the jump of his sculpted form when they grazed across his sensitive nipples. He pinched them between his fingertips, feeling Akira squirm beneath the bedsheets. His tongue slid up the other’s cheek, hungry for the taste of Akira.

His lover’s body was so soft and smooth. Warm. Pure. Unblemished. Perhaps that was why these violent primal urges arose whenever Nano so much as thought of touching Akira beneath his clothes. It was so strange, wishing at once to protect a thing and to defile it. He wanted to take him, here, now, to curl his nails into his skin and sink his teeth into his flesh. To mark him as his own.

“Hey…”

Nano ignored him, lightly stroking the little indentation between his hip and abdomen, placing tender kisses on Akira’s cheek and neck as though to soothe him… as though he weren’t fighting back the bestial impulses that were beginning to cloud his senses.

To do this, he needed Akira to relax. He needed Akira to surrender… to trust him completely that he would keep him safe… despite the overwhelming desire to devour him alive. Akira’s body tensed as Nano’s hand slipped under his pajama pants.

“Wait…”

“Please let me touch you, Akira.” Nano breathed lightly into his ear, “I’ll make you feel good, I promise.” He hooked his fingers into the hem of Akira’s pants and underwear. Akira’s breathing grew faster, a sign that Nano needed to pause temporarily and hold him close, tight, reigning in the beast within. After a moment, Akira would be calm again and might allow him to continue.

But it seemed Akira had other plans.

“Let me go… I still need to take the cake out of the oven. The timer should go off any minute now.”

“Please…” Nano’s grip tightened around his waist.

“Just… wait a minute… damn it…” Akira made a bold show of struggling to free himself from Nano’s grasp, but didn’t really put any strength behind it. If anything, his futile efforts made it easier to shimmy off his pants and underwear. He was even warmer down here, and Nano knew that if he kept touching him like this, Akira’s body would heat up even more. He could make him feel good. They had done this enough times by now that he knew how to make the pleasure outweigh the pain.

“Last night… you said you would let me do anything…” Unable to resist the temptation, Nano grabbed hold of both his wrists, pinning Akira down flat on the bed. His breath left in a quick gush as his back hit the mattress.

“I-I know… and I will… but not yet, okay?” Even trapped naked beneath him, Akira’s gaze remained steadfast, eyes narrowing. He wasn’t afraid. Even knowing what Nano was, the things he had done - Akira never once looked back at him with fear. The sight turned him on immensely.

“After all the work it took to make, I’m not just going to let the cake burn in the oven.”

…It was a fair point. There was a short beat before Nano reluctantly relented, reigning in his lust and releasing his grasp on the other’s wrists. Despite the aura of calmness and bravery he radiated before, as soon as he was freed Akira tried to scramble up from the bed, nearly falling over himself in his desperate quest to regain some semblance of modesty.

But when he went to reach for his pajamas, Nano refused to give them up.

“You don’t need to put on clothes just to take the cake out of the oven, Akira.”

“……!” Akira froze. “I’m not just going to walk around the house naked, even if it is your birthday.”

“Why not? If you put something on, I will just take it off again.”

“…Pervert…”

Nano frowned, eyebrow lightly knitting. “What is perverted about wanting to see your lover’s body in its natural state? I want to see all of you. That’s normal, isn’t it?”

“Maybe…” Akira looked away, “but it’s still embarrassing.”

“Put on a sweater, then.”

“…That’s not going to be long enough to cover anything, and you know it.”

“Put on one of mine.”

As if ordained by fate, the kitchen timer buzzed, leaving Akira with little choice but to comply with Nano’s wishes and abandon his pajamas. Not to be defeated, Akira quickly opened a drawer, digging out one of Nano’s old cardigan sweaters and tugging it gracelessly over his head.

“…Fine. Happy?”

Cool sapphire eyes glared back at Nano definitely as though daring him to object… but Nano’s violet-tinged gaze was quickly drawn lower. His old sweater may have been oversized on Akira, but without anything covering his lower half, it still didn’t leave much to the imagination. The knit fabric fell from his shoulders and draped over the curves of his hips, barely long enough to cover the tip of his half-hard cock. When Akira turned around to head for the door, the lower curve of his round, muscular buttocks peeked out from beneath the brown knit suggestively.

Somehow, it looked even more erotic than if he had remained entirely naked, though Nano was fairly certain that this effect hadn’t been intentional.

Still, he wasn’t about to complain.

“…I have only ever known happiness with you, Akira. You know that. If you hadn’t taught me to feel such things, I would have died without ever knowing what happiness felt like.”

Akira’s lips turned in the slightest hint of a smile, but the timer continued to buzz relentlessly as Akira dashed for the kitchen, leaving Nano staring after in his wake. After a brief clamor, the alarm was silenced. From the bedroom, he could hear the sounds of plates clinking and the clamor of the oven opening and closing.

His imagination was turning circles wondering how his beloved must look reaching for utensils high overhead, bending over to open the oven… There wasn’t much of a point staying under the covers alone, so Nano drug himself out of bed, nearly tripping over Yume as he wandered out to the kitchen to check what his half-dressed lover was up to.

Or at least… how he looked doing it.

At the sound of a scream Nano startled, materializing almost instantly beside Akira in the kitchen where he was running his hand under a stream of water.

“…It’s okay, I just touched the side of the cake pan. It was hot. I haven’t… actually used an oven before, so I forgot the chefs at work use a towel when they take things out. But it’s fine now. Don’t touch the pan, or you’ll get burnt, too. The cake has to cool for a while, then we can take it out of the pan and frost it.”

“Akira…” Nano’s fingertips drifted through the stream of water to lightly caress the backs of Akira’s hands. It wouldn’t heal them, as much as he wished it. But it was all he could do. Was it hypocritical, he wondered, to so deeply dislike seeing Akira hurt… and at the same time desperately wish to engage in acts with him which would undoubtedly cause him pain?

Why did love inspire such paradoxical impulses?

“I’m fine. Really.”

Nano kissed the top of his head, wrapping his arms around Akira’s chest from behind and pulling him close as his pained breathing gradually began to slow. His eyes wandered, and he found himself peering down into the cake pans at the kaleidoscope of colors within. He wasn’t sure how Akira did it, but the results of his first baking attempt did indeed look quite a bit like the cake shown on the box. And now their whole house smelled delicious.

Out of the corner of his eye, Nano spied Yume flop down on the counter beside the little package that Akira had brought home last night. He reached over Akira’s shoulder to pick it up, turning it over thoughtfully. Something inside seemed to shift, a subtle change of weight that peaked his curiosity.

“…Can I unwrap this now?”

Akira barely looked up, shutting off the stream of water in the kitchen sink as he held his burned hand tight against his chest.

“You can open it after we eat cake.”

Nano set the package down obediently, not wishing to damage its contents before he learned what was inside.

Taking Akira by the shoulders, Nano drew him into a deep kiss. Slowly, almost reverently, Nano brought the injured fingers to his lips. Cool lips grazed reddened skin, a wet tongue flicking out to taste and soothe the edges of the burn marks.

“Then… can I make love to you now?”

Akira looked away, his cheeks flushing. “…After we eat cake.”

Nano frowned. “But we just had breakfast.”

“I know, but… just wait until the cake is done, okay?”

It wasn’t cake he was hungry for, and surely Akira knew it. Akira squirmed against his chest, though whether in discomfort or arousal was difficult to tell. Perhaps it was a bit of both.

“What does the cake signify?”

Akira shifted his hips against him enticingly. Despite his vain attempts to hide it, the slight hardness pressing back against Nano’s thigh was unmistakable, sending a surge of arousal straight to his core. He might not say so directly, but it was obvious that Akira was feeling this, too.

And knowing that only made it that much harder to resist.

“…I have no idea.”

Nano closed his eyes, tracing the tip of his tongue along his lover’s palm. His opposite hand slipped under the hem of his sweater.

“Then why do we have to eat cake before we do anything else…?”

The way Akira squirmed under his grasp did nothing to free him, and only made Nano’s blood pulse harder. Surely by now Akira knew that he was taunting a beast. His lover might have him tamed for the moment, but if he kept this up, Nano wouldn’t be able to hold back.

“…I don’t know, okay? That’s just what people do on birthdays.”

Akira tried to take a step back, but collided with the counter. Like a fly caught in a spider’s web, he was already trapped. There was nowhere for him to go. Nano’s lips curved up in a slight smirk as he pressed one knee between his legs, grinding his hips against the slight hardness of the other’s clothed crotch.

“You know there is nothing I want more in this universe than you, Akira.” Teeth grazed the other’s palm as Nano caressed the inside of his thigh lovingly. “Isn’t this day supposed to be a celebration of how good it feels to be alive?”

A spark coursed through Nano’s slender fingertips as his hand slid higher. He could feel his boyfriend’s already half-hard cock swell in his palm as Akira’s blood was drawn like a magnet to the surface of each place he touched.

“Well, yes, technically, but…” Akira fidgeted, trying to maneuver his hips to resist the onslaught of stimulation. “ _Nnn_ … Most people like cake and presents. It’s supposed to be special. _Haa_ … stop it…”

“But afterwards…” Nano abruptly halted his attack, leaving Akira flushed and panting. Gently, he reached up to take hold of Akira’s chin. Their eyes locked.

“Can I make love to you then?”

Akira’s pale cheeks flushed a beautiful shade of pink, but even under the weight of his own desires, he held Nano’s violet gaze coolly.

“…I suppose so.”

Nano smiled, pulling him close.

“…Then I hope the cake is done soon.”

Akira opened his mouth to reply, perhaps to offer some sort of snarky retort, but before any sort of sound could be uttered Nano tilted Akira’s chin up at a better angle to snare his lips, sealing the promise with a kiss. His taste was tantalizingly sweet and earthy, with lingering hints of maple and sugar. Nano couldn’t help but wish to taste more of him. He wanted to taste him everywhere, to tear off his clothes and lick his body until he was needy and compliant, with sweet moans slipping from his lips like music.

Caught by surprise, there was a brief beat before Akira responded, parting his lips invitingly in acceptance. Arousal surged into Nano’s veins as he felt the other’s tongue slide over his lower lip. But before he could get too carried away, Akira reached out, grabbed the little box from the counter, and thrust it into Nano’s arms.

“Alright, fine… you may as well open your present now while we’re still waiting for the cake to cool.”

Such an obvious decoy.

……

But he had to admit that he was rather curious.

After a moment of consideration, Nano released Akira from his pinned position, accepting the colorful box in his stead. Akira watched in silence as he turned it over in his hands to examine the wrapping. The paper was held together with tape, and if he was very careful, he could probably open it without tearing it too badly.

“Um… use your fingers, not your teeth. Remember?”

Right. Akira didn’t like it when he bit into wrappers, even when he was just trying to open them. He was very particular about such things. After a few failed attempts, Nano determined that slicing the tape with his fingernails seemed to give the best results.

Beneath the wrapping was a plain white box. There were no words on it to indicate what might be inside. Nano looked up to see Akira watching him patiently, a hint of color still lingering on his flushed cheeks.

“…Open it.”

Nano obeyed, but inside the box was… yet another box? Strange. This one seemed far more ornate, however. It was gently curved, made of a soft black velvety material with gold hinges. Nano ran his fingers over its edges, not entirely certain what to make of it. When he pried it open with his fingers, he saw a small silver oval dangling on a chain. It looked… like a necklace?

…Why on earth would Akira give him a necklace?

“Open it.”

“…Open what?”

“It’s a locket.”

Nano stared blankly, not sure what he meant. Akira sighed, taking the velvety box away and opening the silver oval itself. After a moment of hesitation, he handed it back, blushing even more furiously now.

When Nano saw what was inside the silver oval, he froze. For a brief moment, it felt as though time had stopped.

Inside was a small photograph: a photo of Akira, one that Nano had taken himself earlier that same year during their brief visit to Japan. In it, Akira was lying back in the grass surrounded by wildflowers and fallen cherry blossoms looking up at him and the camera with an expression of genuine happiness.

Akira crossed his arms defensively, avoiding Nano’s gaze, but his eyes flitted up every so often as if to catch his reaction.

“…You kept saying that the only thing you wanted for your birthday was me. And I wasn’t about to go jumping out of a cake or something, but it made me think. After you took this picture, I would catch you looking at it days, weeks, even months later. You told me it was because you always wanted to remember me like that. So I thought… I don’t know… maybe you might like wearing this, so even if we’re apart, you can still see me.”

Only the sound of falling raindrops and the beating of his own heart broke the silence between them. Akira looked away.

“…It’s silly, I know.”

Nano felt like he had lost the ability to form words. He had no name for the emotions that were swelling inside. For a moment, he remained paralyzed in place, continuing to stare blankly between the locket and Akira. His heart was beating so strongly that it felt like it might burst out of his chest. It was a sensation akin to happiness, or love, but more intense. More passionate. It almost hurt.

Did people normally experience emotions this intensely? If so, he had to wonder how any of them functioned.

“Akira…”

Unable to articulate any more than that one simple word, Nano grabbed Akira by the hem of his sweater and pulled him into a tight embrace. Lips clashed as long fingers tangled in silver hair. Nano was melting. Dissolving. His tongue pressed urgently into the other’s mouth, his very essence overflowing. With every heated breath that passed between them, it felt like their souls were merging. If only doing this could join them, make them one entity.

How surreal their lives had become: the simple joy of loving someone else, and of being loved in return. It was so natural. Human beings were never meant to exist in isolation, any more than they were meant to exist without food or water. Yet perhaps because Nano had endured for so long in solitude, the sensation of his heart being filled sometimes felt overpowering in its intensity.

Nano pulled away, his deep voice a whisper against the other’s cheek as he held him close.

“Thank you, Akira. I will wear it forever.”

Perhaps now he understood this day. One’s birthday. This is what it felt like to be alive. A celebration of how good life could be. To think, he might have died without ever knowing. Without Akira, he might easily have closed his eyes for the last time without ever feeling anything at all. He would have died… without ever having lived.

Akira clung to him, trying his best to recover his breath so that he could speak.

“I don’t know if it’s waterproof, so you might want to take it off in the shower.”

Amidst the intensity of his swirling emotions, a brief, soft sound rose unbidden in Nano’s chest, escaping his lips before he could stop it. Was this laughter? Him? Nicole Premier, laughing?

Beautiful, beloved Akira… practical as ever. He couldn’t help but place another kiss on his already swollen lips.

“Can I wear it now?”

Akira shrugged in feigned indifference, but his simple smile betrayed his true feelings.

“Here. Bend down. I’ll help you put it on.”

Handing the box to Akira, Nano fell to one knee like a knight supplicating himself before his lord. He bowed his head, violet eyes gazing up through long eyelashes to watch in captivated wonder as Akira fascened the clasp around his neck. The locket fell just above Nano’s heart, both a symbolic and a physical reminder that no matter where he went, from here until eternity, he would never again be alone. It would be a constant reminder that his days of solitude and despair were behind him. As fugitives, he knew their lives ahead were dangerous and uncertain, but however long or short the two of them might have together, Nano would cherish every moment, up until the very end. His life now belonged to Akira.

“…Come on.” Akira tried awkwardly to pull Nano to his feet. “Why don’t you wait at the kitchen table while I get the cake frosted?”

“No, I want to come with you.”

“…Okay? I mean, the counter is like three steps from the table anyway, but sure. You can even help me frost the cake if you want.”

Nano took Akira’s hand and followed him as though in a trance, watching as he ran a silver knife around the edges and turned over the cake pans onto a rack, lifting them up to reveal nearly perfect rainbow circles. He then pried open a jar of white frosting and placed it between them.

“What do I do?”

Akira shrugged.

“You just… take the frosting out of the can, and you put it on the cake. Try to get it smooth. When this layer is evenly frosted, we’ll put the other on top of it and frost it as well. Then we put the sprinkles on.”

“Alright.” It sounded simple enough.

“……!”

Akira froze, his eyes going wide as Nano reached into the frosting jar, scooping up a glop of frosting with his bare hands and dumping it directly onto the cake. He then proceeded to spread it evenly across its surface with his fingers as Akira had instructed.

“Is this good?” Nano asked, licking some of the frosting off of his fingertips when he finished. It was pleasantly light and creamy.

Akira continued to stare.

“…Did I do something wrong?”

“Um…” Akira blinked, “I was planning to use a knife for the frosting, but I guess it’s just us who are going to eat this so… That works, too, I guess.”

Akira lifted the remaining second unfrosted cake layer on top of the first. Nano scooped out more frosting to spread on top much like he had done before. When he was done, Akira opened a small jar of rainbow sprinkles and shook them over the surface. With a slight motion of his wrist, he gestured Nano to take a seat at the kitchen table.

Once he was seated, Akira placed a single candle on top of the cake and turned down the lights. It was still midday, so it wasn’t completely dark, though it was storming outside and their apartment didn’t get a lot of natural light. A match was struck. Once the candle was lit, the entire thing was placed before him on the table like a ceremonial offering. He was quite certain he was not worthy of it.

“There’s usually singing at this point, I guess.”

“What kind of singing?”

Akira shrugged. “…It’s kind of silly. It’s just a birthday song people usually sing before you blow out the candle.”

“I will sing for you, Akira.”

“No… it’s… I’m supposed to sing for you. I’m just not very good at singing.”

Nano looked up, eyes pale blue, a pleasant smile playing about his lips.

“I love the sound of your voice, Akira. I think I would like to hear you sing.”

“Fine…” Akira closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and began to sing. It wasn’t a chant like he was expecting might befit such a ceremony, but a simple melody with simple lyrics, yet coming from Akira’s lips it burst forth in vibrant color. Almost as soon as it had begun, the song was over, leaving the room awash with dim flickering candlelight. Akira was looking up at him with a small, embarrassed smile.

“Now make a wish and blow out the candle. You’re supposed to have one candle for each year that you celebrate, but since this is the first time you’ve ever celebrated your birthday, I think one is enough. If you get it in one breath, your wish will come true.”

“…I can wish for anything?”

“Yes.”

Nano only had to think for a moment before he knew exactly what he wanted.

“Then I wish that I can make you as happy every day of our lives as you have made me today.”

The flame was extinguished in an instant. Akira smiled.

“Here… give me your hand. It’s a lot less messy when you don’t use your hands to frost the cake, but…” Akira’s eyelashes lowered as he took Nano’s frosting-coated fingers and brought them gingerly to his lips. A pink tongue darted out, swirling and lapping at the cream lingering on his fingertips. Akira’s tongue felt so soft and sensual, and when he felt the warm wetness of his mouth closing around each finger, sweet waves of electricity crested through his entire body.

How long ago had it been, since Akira had last seen those same hands of his dripping with blood? He had been so afraid, then… afraid that when he looked into Akira’s blue eyes, fear would be all he would see reflected. When Akira saw him for the monster he was, would he turn his back on him? Would he run in terror? Nano knew that he should, but prayed that he would not. It was a selfish, desperate wish, but it was the only hope he had left.

But Akira had taken his crimson drenched hands soaked in the essence of life itself, brought them to his lips… and kissed the blood away. Even if his soul could never be cleansed, Akira accepted him.

When the frosting was gone, Akira stood to turn on the lights again and take the cake back to the counter to slice, leaving Nano still drifting in a romantic daze. After cutting a small slice, Akira served it to him. It was beautiful - all swirling colors and vanilla frosting. An offering befitting someone far worthier than himself. Akira handed him a fork and sat down beside him, watching expectantly as he took his first bite. And his second. And third.

“………”

Nano ate in silence, chewing thoughtfully, enjoying his lover’s presence, listening to the sounds of the pounding rain against their shutters, contemplating the miracle that had become their reality.

“…Well?”

“………”

Nano blinked, pulled out of his existential thoughts by the sound of Akira’s voice.

“…Does it taste okay?”

A strange question, considering he had consumed half of it already.

“Yes.”

Akira sighed, crossing his arms as Nano quietly finished another bite. And another. Yet Akira was still staring at him with that same cryptic expression. Something wasn’t right.

“What’s wrong, Akira?”

“Nothing… just… does it really taste okay? You’ve had other cakes before, so you should know what it’s supposed to taste like.”

“It tastes fine, Akira.”

“………” Akira’s eyes lowered.

“Try some if you don’t believe me. You’ll see I’m telling the truth.”

Akira appeared unconvinced. Nano sighed, setting down his fork.

“It tastes much like the little cakes they sometimes have at the tea shop. Except this one is better, because it was made by Akira. It’s warm, like Akira. And soft, like Akira. And colorful, like Aki-…”

“Wait,” Akira cut him off. “How the hell am I still ‘colorful’? I chose my fate. I chose you. Yours is the only color I will walk with.”

“No… I'm not speaking metaphorically. Your eyes are blue, the color of life. Your hair is silver. Your skin is fair and white, but when I touch it, it flushes pink. And when I touch you lower…”

“Fine!” Akira stopped him, blushing fiercely as though to prove his point. “I get it.”

Nano took another bite in silence.

“Why aren’t you having any, Akira?”

“…I meant to, I guess I just got a little distracted watching you. I was worried you wouldn’t like it.”

Nano finished the bite he was chewing, then took the final piece with his fork, offering it to his lover seated beside him. Akira stared stubbornly. But after a moment he relented, opening his mouth in acceptance. A bit of frosting smeared onto his lower lip. Without waiting for an invitation, Nano leaned in and licked it off.

“See? It tastes very good.”

Akira smiled. “I’m glad.”

Seemingly satisfied that the cake was of sufficient quality, Akira took Nano’s empty plate to the kitchen. Nano stood to follow.

“You can stay there, I was just going to get another slice so we can share.”

“Akira…”

Nano took the knife and plate from his hands, diligently slicing the cake himself.

“It’s your turn to eat.”

In response Nano offered Akira another bite from his fork, which he took obligingly without putting up much of a fuss. But when he tried to offer him another, Akira refused.

“You eat it, too. It’s your birthday cake.”

Obediently, Nano plopped the cake into his mouth… only to lean forward and press his lips against Akira’s, prying open his lips and pushing the cake into his mouth with his tongue.

“……!”

Nano took another bite. Akira took a step back, watching him suspiciously. But Nano simply chewed thoughtfully, watching his lover with an unreadable expression. He sliced another bitesize piece off with his fork and offered it to Akira.

But this time when Akira moved to take it, Nano jerked his hand ever so slightly, dropping it carelessly inside the front of his sweater. Akira scowled, crossing his arms. The hem of his sweater rose enticingly with the motion, revealing the pink tip of his cock.

“You did that on purpose.”

“Perhaps I did.”

Nano offered him another bite, and this time allowed him to take it. He set down the half-eaten cake and turned to Akira.

“Finish your cake. Then lift up your sweater. Or rather, my sweater.”

Akira’s face went beat red and he didn’t move a muscle to comply, but neither did he protest when Nano fed him the remainder of the cake from his fork and lips and took hold of the hem of his sweater. Without further ceremony, Nano lifted it clear up to his neck until his entire body was on full display. He leaned down, feeling that familiar tingling sensation against his tongue as he licked up the rogue frosting that had spilled down Akira’s chest.

Akira looked away, face flushed, chest rising and falling with each rapid breath he took. His flesh was smooth and uniform with only a few small scars, unmarred, highlighting the pale pink of his nipples. Before Nano had so much as touched him, already a slight hardness was beginning to swell between his legs just from being looked at.

Anticipation, perhaps?

He was so enticing like this. Nano could never understand why Akira always acted as though he were embarrassed to let him see his body. Especially now, after he had seen him in his natural state a hundred times before. Been inside him. Touched him everywhere. What more was left to be ashamed of?

Nano picked up the half-empty jar of vanilla frosting, scooping some out with his fingers and painting it onto Akira’s body in slow, meandering patterns. Akira gasped in surprise, writhing, nearly dropping the sweater.

“Keep holding it up, or you’ll get frosting all over my sweater. I promise I’ll lick you clean.”

Nano didn’t really care about his old cardigan, but it was as good an excuse as any, and sometimes, an excuse was all Akira needed. Sure enough, without a word, Akira took the edges of the sweater in his own hands, pulling the garment up even higher in a valiant bid to keep the fabric safe, giving Nano full access to his naked body.

Perfect.

Still squirming, Akira peered down with wide eyes as he watched Nano lean down to trace the swirling patterns on his body with his tongue. He shivered when he felt the familiar spark of electricity flow between them.

His beloved was beautiful - there was no other way to describe him. Despite the fact that they were of the same sex, Akira’s body was so different from his own. These little differences excited him. Akira was smaller, but the rippling muscles beneath his skin had grown increasingly defined as a result of his life as a street fighter and Igra participant. His past was written into his flesh, and Nano treasured all of it. Even after years of running from the Japanese government, his body still retained its definition, highlighting even the smallest of movements that might have passed unnoticed in another.

Nano closed his eyes, kissing the base of Akira’s twitching half-hard cock reverently. Slowly, he drew his lips up over the soft grey hairs to his tensing belly. He wanted all of it - all of him. He wanted to memorize each and every inch of his skin. He wanted it carved into his mind and heart so he would never, ever forget.

Cool lips pressed against warm skin, following the little ridges of his abdominal muscles up to Akira’s chest. Akira’s muscles tensed under the attention, and he squirmed instinctively when he felt Nano’s icy fingers circling his nipples. Akira was so sensitive there. The way his body moved when he touched them made Nano salivate. He wanted so badly to bite them, but instead he traced them gingerly, feeling the little nubs harden under his tongue as he took each one into his mouth.

Akira let out a soft whimper, bucking his hips against Nano’s thigh. He was trembling, his breath audible. Nano used to worry that when he did this, Akira was afraid, so he would stop what he was doing and hold him close, stroking his body gently and waiting for his trembling to cease before driving him on to greater heights of pleasure.

Some human emotions were still difficult for him to read, but after years of experience, Nano had since learned that Akira’s trembling oftentimes merely signified that he was on the verge of falling into the grip of temptation, and the slightest push would send him over the edge. Now, Nano could feel the tension building in Akira’s hips, the tiny movements that came from two incompatible desires: to give up control and surrender to his lust, or to hold himself back.

Nano’s tongue traced the patterns dancing across his pale skin, teasing at the bulge of his pectoral muscles, feeling Akira’s tension grow as those tiny, trembling movements intensified.

“ _Ahh_ …”

Akira’s voice slipped out unintentionally when Nano’s tongue flicked across his nipples, lapping at the sweet white trail of frosting that had been painted there.

“ _Mmm_ …! _Ah_ , hey!”

Akira jumped, nearly dropping the sweater over his head when Nano bit down. It was still too soon, and he knew it, but the temptation brought on his lover writhing in his embrace had been too great.

Sometimes… Nano just didn’t _want_ to resist the beast lurking inside. Nails dug into firm but supple flesh, kneading and exploring as a new rush of lust flowed into his bloodstream. God, he wanted him.

Akira’s breath was wild now. He squirmed futility as he tried and failed to free himself from the onslaught of his lover’s teeth and tongue, letting out a short whimper. When Nano pulled away, he could see that Akira’s once frosting-coated nipple was red and swollen, hard and glistening with saliva. It looked so vulnerable.

By way of apology, his tongue flickered out and he licked at it soothingly, but even that wet, gentle sweep made Akira fidget and groan. His cock was weeping now in Nano’s grasp, and he couldn’t stop himself from bucking his hips into Nano’s hands. It was taking all of Akira’s self-control to keep the sweater up, and when he saw Nano’s line of sight change, he began panting audibly.

Beautiful.

Stroking his tongue once more against the sore nipple, he shifted his attention to the other, still covered with white frosting. But just looking at it seemed to make Akira tremble, and before Nano’s rough tongue could even reach it, Akira tried to twist out of his grasp.

He couldn’t escape, and surely Akira knew that better than anyone. No one could stop a living weapon once his target was in his line of sight. Nano grabbed the frosting and hauled Akira mercilessly over to the nearby kitchen table, pushing him down flat on his back and quickly unhooking the buttons on his cardigan sweater to keep him from hiding his body behind it. Akira’s cock was rock hard by now, pulsing enticingly as Nano loomed over him, drinking in the sight of his lover sprawled out like a delicious meal on the kitchen table.

Seeing Akira so vulnerable always brought out his predatory instincts. The beast was beginning to take over. It was so tempting to just eat him up alive.

Perhaps, it wouldn’t hurt to indulge in that fantasy… just a little.

“Wait…!”

Akira’s eyes went wide as Nano scooped out more of the frosting, painting him like a sacrificial offering. Cold fingers snaked through silver hair, yanking, forcing the other’s head back at a more fitting angle to expose the unmarred flesh of his neck. His tongue traced along the slope of Akira’s jaw, running from his collarbone up to his ear, then down again, painstakingly placing open-mouthed kisses on every inch of his body. He licked away the white trails of frosting to expose bare skin, a sprinkling of darkening bruises just beginning to form on his fair, pink skin.

Nano’s teeth found their mark and he bit down, his free hand sliding down, delighting in the buck of his lover’s hips when his frosting-coated hand swept lower to trace his thighs and pulsing cock.

“Damn it, Nikolai… _ahhhh_ … This isn’t how you frost a cake!”

“Ah… you’re right… I’m forgetting something…”

“Wha…?” Akira blinked, seemingly surprised that he’d gotten a response at all. Nano’s expression remained blank, but his eyes were beginning to flicker and swirl with an iridescent violet sheen.

“Sprinkles.”

“……!”

Akira’s eyes went wide, hands scraping against the sides as he desperately sought the edges of the table. Nano picked up a the mostly-empty packet of sprinkles laying nearby. Very few still remained inside, but he shook what was left out leisurely onto his palm. Akira was breathing hard, blue eyes looking up at him incredulously.

In this position, it was easy to spread his legs. Akira had no time to react before his knees were pressed in against his chest, a fine rainbow trail of sprinkles leading up from the base of his cock to its tip. Nano licked his lips.

“Come on… _Mnnnn_ … This might be my first baking attempt, but surely the cake tastes better than that!”

“Nothing tastes better than you, Akira.”

A soft wimper, more in resignation than challenge, escaped Akira’s lips. He wouldn’t fight him on it. Not now. The first time Nano had ever taken him in his mouth, Akira had cursed him, raking his hands through light brown curls, trying desperately to push him away despite his delirium and failing strength. It was hard to argue that he hadn’t enjoyed it, though, seeing as how he had lasted mere seconds before cumming, hard, down the living weapon’s throat. Akira said nothing afterwards, but clung tight to him, face flushed with complex emotions Nano could not place, breath hot against his frozen chest, trembling lightly until his eyes closed and he drifted off to sleep wrapped tight in his lover’s embrace.

Akira never really put up a fight after that, even spreading his legs of his own volition, though his cheeks still flushed pink the moment his lover slid down and knelt between his thighs. It was intensely erotic, seeing someone so strong and stoic writhe under his grasp not in pain and humiliation, but in pleasure. Seeing him anticipate it. _Want_ it. Want _him_.

“It’s your birthday, you don’t have to do this…” Akira squirmed, more in arousal than discomfort, “We can do what you want today.”

“You want it, too, Akira.”

Akira opened his mouth to reply, but couldn’t really strike any sort of fire or will to oppose him. His lips closed, and he swallowed hard, thighs trembling, resigned to his fate.

The moment Nano’s tongue touched Akira’s shaft, the blood beneath it surged and pulsed, drawn to the surface by his own. The two of them were two halves of the same coin, incompatible, opposite, but locked together, each of them needing the other… and desperately desiring to be one.

Nano licked roughly up the underside of Akira’s cock, lapping away the little trail of frosting and sprinkles he had spread before, saliva mixing with precum. The sweetness of the frosting was mingled with a bitter taste, but he loved every drop. Whenever that bitterness hit his tongue, it felt as though he were tasting something forbidden, even sacred.

Akira’s fingers tangled in fistfuls of black curls, moans spilling freely. The sound of his voice was intoxicating, driving away the last vestiges of his control. Hunger mixed with lust and suddenly Nano was showering Akira’s cock with attention, licking it all over, lapping up the sides, swirling around the head, running the flat of his tongue ravenously back and forth across his weeping slit at an increasingly frenzied pace.

It seemed all too soon that the pretense of the frosting had been licked away, but as Nano pulled back, their pure mixed fluids formed a translucent thread that connected the tip of his tongue with the tip of Akira’s cock. A bright purple fire burned in his eyes at the erotic sight, and he found himself unable to look away.

Coating his fingers in the clear fluid their bodies had provided, Nano slipped his fingers lower, caressing his lover’s tightening balls and sliding between pliant cheeks to draw wet circles against his tight entrance. Iridescent eyes looked up through long eyelashes to watch his lover’s expression as Nano’s lips closed over the tip, tongue circling the head as he took him deeper.

Akira’s entrance tightened instinctively at the intimate invasion. No matter how much they did this, Akira’s body still resisted him. He knew that being penetrated like this felt unnatural, even uncomfortable, but he needed Akira to accept it. Accept _him_. Nano continued to stroke lightly but persistently, sucking him in deep until his cock hit the back of his throat to distract him from the odd sensation. Years of forced intubation at the hands of ENED’s research team had long since rendered his gag reflex extinct. He tipped his head back, allowing Akira’s hips to buck up and take from him the pleasure he desired.

A pleasure that took his very breath away.

Akira’s hand clamped over his mouth to stifle his cries, eyes wild and desperate, his body nearly at the brink as Nano devoured him whole and that questing finger pushed its way past that little ring of pink muscle to loosen him.

Just watching the other come undone like this was enough to draw Nano nearly to his limits, and he hadn’t even been touched yet. He realized with a start that he could cum like this, just watching him, touching his body, tasting his fluids. Every time he felt Akira’s tight asshole clamp down on his finger, the sensation transposed directly to his groin, as though he were inside him already, not trapped beneath the confines of soaked cotton.

Nano was beginning to feel dizzy. He could feel Akira’s balls tightening in his grasp, felt his hips tense, and knew was reaching his limits already. Alas, as of yet he had still only managed to get a single finger inside of him. He needed him looser, wanted him to surrender and give himself over to Nano’s embrace. If he did not, his flesh would tear the moment he was entered. Nano pulled away, reluctantly, catching his breath in soft gasps, leaving his beloved hovering on the precipice. He shifted his attention lower, pushing his thighs back and guiding his legs over his shoulders to force his body into an even more vulnerable position as he settled between his legs. Strong hands supported his hips, separating pliant buttocks. A wet tongue slithered up his inner thigh, pausing briefly to lap at his balls, twirling and sucking before snaking down between rounded cheeks.

Akira very nearly jumped off the table the moment he felt that soft flicker of tongue lapping against his entrance, his moan nearly a scream. He squirmed wildly, trying to push his lover away from that delicate ring of muscle. After a futile struggle, he tried to flip himself over to escape, and Nano responded by letting him have his way… only to push him face-down against the table and lift his hips up, pushing away the fabric of the sweater so his ass was completely exposed.

Akira’s swollen cock dribbled streams of clear fluid onto the floor. Defeated, he hid his face, trembling.

“Akira…”

“Please… just take me now…”

“If I don’t prepare your body before I enter you, I will hurt you.”

“I told you before that I would let you do whatever you wanted with me today… and I won’t break that promise. No matter how much it hurts. So… do what you like.”

Nano smiled, shaking his head as he ran his hands down the other’s back and hips in what he hoped was a soothing fashion.

“You act like I’m going to torture you. I’m going to make love to you, Akira. Even if I hurt you… I want it to feel good. If it is just me, it’s meaningless.”

“I don’t care. Hurt me all you like. I’ll heal… eventually.”

“Ha…” Nano’s breath escaped in a soft laugh. “Do you truly value your pride above your own safety? How foolish. You forget that the only one doing this to you is me, and I am someone who has never understood the concept of modesty. It is one human emotion I don’t think I wish to learn. Modesty serves no purpose and only hurts those who stubbornly insist upon clinging to it.”

“………”

“The only one seeing you like this is me, Akira, and I love you.”

“…But I haven’t even touched you yet.”

“You can touch me all you like once you’re properly prepared to endure it. I don’t think I will be able to hold back this time. I want you too badly, Akira. So… let me do this.”

The sound that escaped Akira’s lips was almost a sob, but he didn’t protest, and after a moment gave a brief nod of reluctant acceptance. He looked almost like a frightened kitten, and Nano couldn’t help but pet him soothingly.

“Don’t worry… I’ll make you feel good before I take you. I promise. I want you to want me as badly as I want you. I want that more than anything.”

Akira took a deep breath, steeling himself as he spread his legs and lifted his hips.

Despite his intention to hold back, seeing Akira bent over in this position, arching his back, offering himself… did things to him. Unable to resist the temptation, he bit down gently on one of Akira’s plump round buttocks, leaving a reddened mark in his wake. At first the flicker of tongue was soft and exploring, simultaneously reverent and teasing as it diligently traced the edges of that tight pink circle. Nano ran the flat of it across, back and forth, enjoying the feeling of that muscle twitching and contracting against his tongue.

Akira cried out, arching his back gracefully, his breath escaping in deep gasps and moans. His face was still buried into the table, his dripping cock leaking a small puddle on the kitchen floor. His hips were trembling wildly, but Nano’s tongue must have felt better than the dry fingers before, because his entrance was quickly loosening under his ministrations.

A crash of lightning streaked across the sky, lighting up the darkened kitchen in an eerie flash that caused Akira’s skin to glisten. The storm was picking up again, the wet sounds coming from their bodies lost in the pounding rain. Gradually Nano’s gentle pace grew rougher, bolder, and more passionate as he forced his way deeper inside.

Akira grabbed the sides of the table in a desperate bid for traction, hips pulsing in time to his pleasured gasps and moans.

Long, slender fingers slid around to the front to stroke Akira’s neglected cock. Nano teased circles across the droplets forming at his slit and dragged his thumb across the tip until they were coated in clear fluid. When he moved one hand from the front to the back to join his tongue playing and teasing Akira’s entrance, Akira trembled and gasped, but didn’t fight him, not even when Nano moved his other hand away from his cock as well to squeeze and massage his buttocks. That little ring of pink muscle was on full display now, clenching wantonly as Nano continued to tease its edges with his tongue. A moistened finger pressed its way inside. Then another. They went in much easier, and when he tried to add a third, it almost felt as though his ass was pulling him inside.

A wave of heat shot straight to his groin as the sensation transposed directly to his cock. Nano couldn’t take it anymore. He was so hard and wet by this point that his precum had soaked through his underwear, leaving the front of his pajama pants damp.

But such things could not be helped. Nano pulled away, bright purple eyes drinking in the sight of his lover sprawled out on the table with his sweater pulled up to his waist and hips lifted invitingly. His own body was screaming for release, his mind a jumbled mess. Never taking his eyes off his supplicant partner, he freed himself from the confines of his soaked cotton and stripped himself naked. No longer burdened by the feeling of cloth between them, he leaned over to kiss the welling marks left on Akira’s back and neck. His whole body was trembling with unreleased tension, breathing rapid and pupils dilated like a wild animal in heat.

“Akira…”

“ _Ha_ …… _Nnnnn_ …”

“Akira…”

Nano hooked the three fingers inside his body forward, searching for that hardened place inside where he knew would give him the most pleasure. When Akira’s voice rose in pitch, nails scraping against the old wood, he knew he had found it.

 _God_ , how he wanted him. Unable to resist the temptation, Nano rubbed his aching cock between those plump buttocks, adding the moisture from his own body to further lube up his passageway. Akira bucked his hips, raising his bottom higher, inviting Nano to do whatever he damn well pleased.

“ _Ahhh_! _Mmm_ , _mnnn_ …”

“Akira… please look at me, Akira. I want to see your face…”

Akira tried valiantly to writhe from his grasp, only for Nano to grab him by the waist and haul him over to a nearby chair. Blue eyes met purple, flushed, dazed, struggling to focus, his entire body trembling with need. His quivering legs nearly buckled under his own weight, but Nano kept hold of him tight.

Akira was looking at him with an expression almost of awe, drinking in the sight of Nano’s naked body, his only garment the little silver necklace Akira had fastened around his neck, a physical reminder of how much the man in his arms truly loved him.

“I want to see _everything_. Please, Akira.”

Nano took a seat, inviting Akira to straddle his lap. Akira’s legs were shaking so badly he nearly fell when he tried to climb on, but Nano kept hold of him, guiding him gently until he was positioned with his legs draped on either side of his body, his bottom hovering just over Nano’s throbbing cock. Akira clung to him, arms wrapped around Nano’s shoulders in a tight embrace. It was taking all of Nano’s self control not to thrust up into him the moment their bodies connected and he felt the tip of his cock enveloped in soft warmth and tightness, instead allowing Akira to gradually lower himself at his own pace.

Akira’s eyes went wide, inhaling sharply when the head of Nano’s cock fully penetrated his body with a soft pop. He paused, breathing hard, hovering until his body adjusted to the fullness.

Blue eyes, the color of life itself, searched the depths of his own. For what, he could not tell. But Nano couldn’t help but kiss him, locking their lips together, swallowing the other’s soft moans and rapid exhalations as he gradually lowered himself until he was fully impaled on Nano’s cock. Nano sighed deeply, tenderly stroking the other’s back beneath his sweater as though petting him.

If only it were possible to remain like this forever, their bodies one entity, one life. When they were joined like this, it felt as though his blood were being purified. Even if it was nothing more than an illusion, Nano could feel his heart beat stronger… and little by little, he knew he was being healed.

“I love you, Akira. Even after my body turns to dust, I will always love you.”

In response to his words, Akira’s cheeks turned a beautiful shade of red, and he kissed Nano’s lips more forcefully, slipping his tongue inside Nano’s mouth to explore and ravish as he began to slowly lift his hips, body trembling with fullness and discomfort. He wasn’t ready for Nano to move inside him quite yet. His body still needed to adjust to his length and girth. That was alright, though. No matter how much the beast inside him longed to be free, Nano knew that when he saw that same fire burning in his partner’s clear blue eyes, felt the same need in his bucking hips, the wait would all be worth it. Later on, when their senses were pushed to their limits, even pain would become pleasure.

And then Nano wouldn’t have to hold back.

Akira broke away, turning his head ever so slightly as though not looking his partner in the eye might somehow render him invisible. He swallowed, taking a deep breath and lifting his hips, lowering them gently in a smooth, rhythmic motion. He was ready now, signalling his partner silently that it was alright to move.

And _god_ , how he wanted to ravish him.

But the sight of Akira riding him like this was too beautiful to pass up, and Nano wanted to savor it. Normally by now Nano would have taken over control of their motion, thrusting deep, aiming for that sweet spot inside until sweet moans spilled from his lips. After another moment of raising and lowering his bottom down on Nano’s lap, Akira glanced over shyly, almost questioningly.

“I want you to ride me, Akira. Is that okay?”

Akira’s face flushed an even deeper shade of crimson, and he looked at Nano incredulously, as though he had just asked something absurd.

“Please, Akira? Just for a little longer. I want you to take from me exactly what you need.”

Akira nodded resolutely, taking a deep breath as he met Nano’s eyes and began to raise and lower his body with increased force and speed, clenching tight against his partner’s cock and sending waves of numbness down his spine. A choked moan escaped his lips as his fingers trailed over Nano’s body, scraping against the little ridges of his scars as he rocked his hips against his thighs over and over.

“ _Ah_ … _Ah_ … _Ahhh_ ……”

Akira couldn’t keep back his voice any longer. And neither, it seemed, could Nano. The sound of Akira’s needy, pleasured gasps and moans caused something inside him to snap and catch fire, and almost without warning the beast inside awakened, the sound of their voices mingled as their bodies began to move as one.

“ _Ahhh_ … _haaaa_ ……!!!”

It felt almost too perfect to be real. Surreal, dreamlike. When he held Akira in his arms like this, indulging in his body, tasting his flesh, watching him writhe in pleasure at his touch, some days Nano would have sworn he had died and gone to heaven… were it not for the sobering fact that if he truly had died, heaven was an unlikely destination for a soul as tainted as his own.

But he didn’t care anymore. Eternity could wait. This earthly pleasure was what Nano wanted, more than anything else. And the fact that he knew it was temporal, fleeting… only made it all the more beautiful. He wanted it _all_ , and he tried to drink it all in with his eyes, his heart, his hands, his tongue, his teeth, his cock. Nano would cherish each and every moment, every sigh, every caress. For the rest of his life, Nano would carry each of these precious memories close to his heart.

Nano grasped Akira’s dripping erection, stroking him in time to their rhythmic motion, painting his own fluids up onto his hips and belly as he thrust, hard, into Akira’s hot, cloying passageway.

His reason and rationality were crumbling to ash, slipping further and further into the mists of his subconscious with each kiss, each caress. In their place rose lust, hunger, possession, need…

_Aggression…_

Nano’s mind went blank at the unmistakable feeling of the other man clamping down hard on his cock, thighs tightening, spraying white lust over his hand and onto his stomach, and the last vestiges of his control vanished like smoke on the wind.

Akira cried out as Nano’s teeth found their mark, sinking into the supple flesh of his neck. It was an animalistic impulse. He wanted to taste him, to mark him, to devour him, claiming Akira as his own forever. But if Akira had any objections, he was too lost to care. He writhed, overstimulated, his cock still hard and sensitive to the touch. His breath came in gasping pants as he clamped down hard on Nano’s cock, squeezing the man inside. Nano’s body jolted to a halt as he was forced over the edge and all of his thoughts faded into a blissful fog of heat and euphoria.

Akira was clinging to him, kissing him, stroking his fingers over the scars crisscrossing his neck and chest as his body spasmed and he struggled to catch his breath.

“I love you, Nikolai… Happy birthday. Thank you… for being born.”

* * *

They held one another close for a long time afterwards, sliding down from the hard chair to lay tangled on the kitchen floor as they listened to the sounds of the pounding rain. The storm was beginning to let up. Dark bruises were beginning to form on Akira’s fair skin from the hickies and bite marks he had received earlier, and Nano stroked them tenderly as his beloved snuggled against his chest.

Both were sweating and messy with one another’s mingled fluids, leaving them little choice but to shower off together once they had recovered their strength sufficiently to walk to the bathroom. The warm water washing over them felt peaceful and soothing.

“…Your dye is starting to fade a little. I can see your brown roots now.”

Akira ran his fingers through Nano’s curls, washing the shampoo from his dark hair.

“I’m sorry. I’ll get more next time I go to the store.”

“No, it’s okay… Black looks good on you, but I still like to think that maybe someday we’ll live somewhere where you don’t have to dye it. I’d like to see your natural hair again.”

Nano paused, considering this while he reached for the conditioner.

“…Did you like my hair when it was lighter?”

“Yes. It was one of the first things I noticed about you.”

“Then… were you sad when I decided to dye it black?”

Akira chuckled, shaking his head as he rinsed out his own hair and reached for the soap. Nano had tried his best to wash away the semen running down his thighs, but based on the way Akira reached back to touch himself, he must not have done the job completely. A tinge of guilt welled in his chest, though from the way Akira smiled he must not have been too bothered by it.

“No… I wasn’t sad, because it meant that you were finally able to express yourself the way you wanted to be seen, and not the way the world had dictated that you should be.”

Akira set down the soap, and that feeling of guilt was beginning to wash away as well when he saw the tenderness reflected in his lover’s eyes and he continued to speak.

“I want to be with you no matter what color your hair is. Someday, if your hair turns white or silver, I will still love you then, too.”

Nano’s lips curved up in a contented smile. So many emotions washed over him when he was with Akira, each more pleasant than the next.

“…I think I might like that. If my hair ever turned silver, then I would match you, Akira.”

* * *

At the end of the day, snuggling into bed with Akira, Nano was extremely happy. But when he looked at the clock, his spirits fell.

“…In a few minutes, it won’t be my birthday anymore.”

“That’s true.” Akira yawned, snuggling against Nano’s chest. “You’ll have to wait another year before it is your birthday again. Tomorrow I have to go back to work at the cafe like usual. Dishes don’t wash themselves, I guess.”

Akira leaned down, resting his head against Nano’s ribcage. Nano stroked his hair lovingly as he settled. At first he had been perplexed by this behavior, but now he knew what he was doing. Sometimes Akira would lay like this for hours, listening to his heartbeat in silence until he fell asleep in his arms. It beat more strongly each day, or so he told him.

Yume jumped back up onto the bed, curling into a fluffy grey ball at their feet.

Soon this day would end, but the ephemeral nature of the holiday only made it all the more beautiful. In a way, it was also a promise. So long as tragedy evaded them, Akira would be with him next year to celebrate, too… and all the days in between. And when Akira was away at work, Nano could look at the little locket around his neck, and he would always remember this day that Akira made so special for him.

“I love you, Akira.” Nano whispered, drawing him close. “And I look forward to celebrating your birthday, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this little birthday fic in honor of Nano. I have over a dozen more Nano-related fanfics written that I'm considering editing and posting, so if you liked this one, please let me know! <3
> 
> I also draw, cosplay, translate, and RP Nano, if anyone's interested. I'm Nicole Premier#2419 on discord, nicolepremier on tumblr and pillowfort, nicole_premier on instagram, and nanopremier on twitter. I'm still learning my way around social media, but I'm always open to requests! <3


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